The 'Mute

I have an odd relationship with Vodafone… I left them years ago for some reason or other then I got a phone for my daughter with them… The phone was a very poor choice (screen is so slow it isn’t usable, keyboard is very erratic etc. etc.) it was recommended by a friend – oh well… When I spotted that the phone could be upgraded in January I was quite pleased and she decided she wanted an HTC Wildfire S which is a nice size for her and has plenty of features she’ll use…

So we went to the Vodafone store in the Trafford Centre and they said that we couldn’t upgrade because that was online only… BUT.. even that wasn’t quite true – the upgrade date is actually April but I am lucky to have been offered a “deal” on certain tariffs/devices… The Wildfire was on the list… except I’d have to spend £95 on the phone and they only offer a £20/month tariff – that’s basically double per month what we pay for her now and we still have to pay for a handset which is a little long in the tooth already!? So £575 for a deal over two years…

I had a nose around the web and found that Tesco Mobile are offering the handset for £15/month with hundreds more monthly minutes, 5000 texts and 500Mb/month data (double what Vodafone was offering) a free handset and free delivery… So for a two year contract that’s £360! £215 less than Vodafone for a shed load more! I spend a fair amount of money every month so felt I should at least be able to ask what deal they’d offer so I used their self-service contact page, supplied details of my phone and I was already logged in to my account when I did this so I’d assume they can know I have access to my account – so I’m pretty baffled to have just received a mail from Parvin Pathan of Vodafone Customer Service that reads:

Hello Swift,

Thank you for contacting Vodafone customer services.

I understand your concern, as you want to upgrade the phone, and to know the upgrade date for your phone, please write back to us with the following details:
- 4 digit PIN code

If you don’t remember your PIN code or there’s no PIN set on the account get back to us with the following details:
- First line of your address along with the postcode
- Your date of birth
- Your method of payment
- Vodafone Account number
-Number of subscriptions on the account (please provide phone numbers)
-Three recently dialled numbers

Once I’ve received this, I’ll be more than happy to help.

To know more about our privacy policy you may also click on the link below:

http://www.vodafone.co.uk/vodafone-uk/about-this-site/privacy-policy/index.htm

I will look forward to your reply.

Kind regards,
Parvin Pathan
Vodafone Customer Services

Un-fucking-believable! Not only do I get a disrespectful opening (I don’t recall if I selected a Mr/Mrs etc. but I’m guessing that Parvin is actually a piece of software) but they want an insane amount of detail to respond to a mail asking what they’d do about their highly uncompetitive upgrade “deal”…

I feel a letter coming on…

…for your apology! it is nuts that someone is forced by media pressure to apologise for making a lighthearted remark that has been taken out of context, this isn’t the first time jeremy clarkson has been forced to apologise for expressing an opinion (albeit in terms that not everyone might use but hardly offensive!)

it is quite sad when society is so up itself that mild humour taken out of context can result in claim of incitement and be compared to dictators and that involves the prime minister of a sovereign state!

so mr clarkson, seeing as you apologise on demand, i want you to apologise for apologising…

I was in the market for a bit of furniture and thought I’d have a nose around the Internet… stumbled across a web site that had a table I thought I’d buy… The site was houseofoak.co.uk and the price seemed reasonable, I checked delivery (took a screen grab, put it below) and it was showing as “Free for orders over £200, otherwise £9.95 per item” so as I was spending over £200 I assumed would be free… So I was quite surprised when the basket showed £39… This was the price of their “Standard” shipping that I didn’t feel I needed… by this point I was signed up but not yet placed the order… So I sent them a mail:

i almost placed an order but you have only offered me a standard (£39) delivery but i’m happy with the parcel? i want two oak 3 drawer bedside model ZRBS? is there a reason i have to pay so much?

to which they replied:

hi

thankyou for your enquiry,

yes the charge is £39 as we don’t
send these items by parcel as the risk
of damage is too great and we get too
many returns .
if you live locally then delivery is free

regards
Steve
house of oak

Sent from my iPhone

so… I replied:

ok, well it is a bit odd to show one option on your delivery page but then not offer it because of problems with the carrier… fire them and get a better provider, improve your packaging or both… not sure i can justify such a high delivery cost i’m afraid…

and their response absolutely blew my socks off (the grammar, spelling and punctuation are all the work of Steve):

thankyou for your opinion , but u misunderstand me , if I send the items by parcel it goes with TNT or another parcel company , the boxes are packaged great but from experience ,
parcel companies are not that good, that’s why we prefer to use a 2 man delivery team to get the products, customer satisfaction is the most important ,
I have seen u live in Manchester , I could send these for 20 pounds and could get the shop to call u to place the order
regards
steve
house of oak

Sent from my iPhone

I’m still chuckling about this, I find it absolutely staggering that anyone from anything resembling a professional organisation would send a prospective customer any message referring to the customer as the single letter ‘u’… I sincerely hope that House of Oak goes out of business, they don’t deserve customers and are quite possibly a bunch of cowboys chancing their arm…

http://flowingdata.com/2011/10/28/best-statistics-question-ever/

this really pisses me off, fucking queenie and fucking protocol, quite possibly she doesn’t give a fucking shit about this and the "media" make a story out of nothing, but either way why the fuck does it matter to bow before another human being just because they were born with blue blood… fucking insane

“We don’t allow faster than light neutrinos in here” said the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.

Cav is world champion!… Absolutely amazing ride (he was something like 12th with a few hundred metres to go, that in a world class sprinters field!) from the team and it is great to hear Cav talk so highly of everyone who got him there…

Stunning riding! More BBC coverage…

This on top of the U23 winner Lucy Garner – two world champions, six medals and a proud nation…

They must all be rightly proud, well deserved… I’m so glad I got back into cycling again – truly inspired!

Robert…